


Campfire Confessions

by EternallyEC



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Gen, bellarke crumbs, bellarke snippets, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 15:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14476050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: Set in season 4: Clarke and Bellamy have a painful conversation.-or-the one where Bellamy lays his soul bare and Clarke grants him absolution.





	Campfire Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> I stayed up way too late last night and ended up on Tumblr on the Bellarke tag. As usual, I started to think of how misjudged and demonized Bellamy and Bellarke are by a certain part of the 100 fandom and ended up writing a passionate essay about why that's wrong in my personal fandom group which led to the inspiration for this. Written entirely in one go, I'm going against my usual practice and posting it as is. All feedback (except flames) are welcome and appreciated!

It's late and quiet and the only sounds are the crackling of the fire when Clarke's voice quietly drifts over to where Bellamy lays supposedly sleeping. He supposes he shouldn't be too surprised that she's not asleep and that she knows he isn't either; they've always had a strange connection that neither of them can explain and don't try to either. They've learned to just embrace it and go with it.

"Why did you do it?"

The voice is heavy with grief, with a pain Bellamy's heart echos as it twists in his chest. There's no need to ask what she means as he hasn't stopped thinking of that morning since it happened, not even his best efforts at repressing it doing any good.

"I was scared," he replies quietly, his voice choked and small and for the first time he realizes he's about to cry for those unsuspecting people he helped Pike slaughter. Not Grounders, the way Pike had consistently coached them to think of them to make it easier but people he had once been ready to fight beside. People like the woman he'd helped escape from the Mountain; not that *that* had ended any better than Lexa's promise to Clarke did.

But still. They'd been people and he'd helped to slaughter him and he didn't think he'd ever forget the way each of their eyes shot open and stared at him in accusation as they died.

Clarke hasn't replied and Bellamy swallows, continues. "I was pissed off because you'd abandoned me, abandoned all of us for her. For the woman who would lead you to the lion's den and leave you to be devoured alive with no chance of survival. And yeah, we did survive but at what cost, Clarke?" he swallowed. "You left, you said you couldn't bear the way you'd feel seeing them every day but I had to. I stayed and I had to bear that burden by myself because you were gone and then suddenly you were back but refusing to come home because you wanted to stay with her and... I just lost it."

Clarke's voice sounds broken now, thick with tears and he can hear her ragged breathing but feels powerless to go to her. "There was more to Lexa's decision than that and you know that I didn't want to leave. "

"But you did," he shook his head. "I know there was more to it now but at the time, that was how I saw it. It made it easy to let Pike get inside my head and simplify things. Once it was us versus them again, I felt like my head cleared. Three hundred Grounder warriors sleeping around us felt like an assault waiting to happen, just like the three hundred we burned alive the first time. To me, it was the same thing."

"Except it wasn't." There's no trace of accusation in Clarke's voice, just a weary sadness that breaks his heart more than if there had been.

"No, there wasn't," he agrees with a sigh. "What I did... I can't take it back, Clarke, no matter how much I wish I could. All that I can do is keep going and try to be the good guy you always made me want to be."

There's silence for a long while after that, just enough to make Bellamy wonder if Clarke's fallen asleep before her voice reaches him again.

"I told Finn once... What we've had to do to survive doesn't define us." Her swallow is audible and Bellamy finds himself wanting to get up and go to her, to brush her hair away from her face and see what she's feeling--her eyes always give it away and it's a perfect excuse to stare into them. But it's not the time and he shakes away the urge as she continues.

"You thought you were doing what you had to, I can see that now, Bellamy. And... I forgive you," she whispers, Bellamy straining to hear the words and feeling his tears finally fall as he realizes what they were.

For the first time in months, Bellamy has a peaceful night's sleep and wakes refreshed. Meeting Clarke's eyes, they share a meaningful look before going about their day, the night before not forgotten but carefully stored away, never to be spoken about.

But every time Bellamy catches Clarke's eyes that day, he could swear there's something new in them and it gives him hope.

~~FIN


End file.
